So...how about that Doctor Who last night? I think Steven Moffat is trying to kill us Whovians. (spoilers)

The man makes Joss Whedon look downright tame. :P

I honestly have no idea where to even begin with this episode. The opening scene with Clara and all of the incarnations of the Doctor gave me a raging nerd boner that was compounded by the unexpected appearance of Professor River Song. To use internet speak, this episode gave me a lot of "feels". Then it destroyed those feels like Emperor Palpatine destroyed the Jedi Order - Quickly, brutally, and without remorse.

Predictably, they managed to avoid revealing the Doctor's name, which should surprise no one at all. Personally, I think his real name is Leroy Jenkins or something. Then Clara had to go and be a Big Damn Hero and catapulted herself into the highest echelon of companion, somewhere in proximity to Rose Tyler and Donna Noble by seemingly sacrificing herself to save the Doctor. I absolutely loved, loved, LOVED her interacting with the First Doctor and convincing him to steal the right TARDIS. Also, holy shit, we got to see what the TARDIS looked like before it became a police box! Never thought that would open.

Easily - easily - the biggest shocker of the episode was this:

Via theoneandonlynunce.

 Just...wow. My brain stopped working shortly thereafter. I mean, what? What is he exactly? Is he The Valeyard? Because that particular incarnation of the Doctor was name-dropped in the episode. Going by the Whovian community on Tumblr and elsewhere, some people think that he's the "8.5 Doctor", a sort of halfway point between the Eighth and Ninth Doctors, which doesn't make much sense to me. Why would the Doctor regenerate halfway, if he even could? Others think that he's the "real" Ninth Doctor, which makes even less sense. I know Steven Moffat likes torturing us Whovians (and Sherlockians, bless those poor souls), but I can't see him fundamentally altering things that much. If Hurt is the "real" Nine, then that means Christopher Eccleston's, David Tennant's, and Matt Smith's Doctors move up one on the numbering scale, which is confusing and pointless.

My two theories: He's The Valeyard, mostly because I've been wanting to see that character in New Who for a while. What can I say? I just like the idea of an evil version of the Doctor. The problem is that this doesn't act like he's the embodiment of the Doctor's darkside. He came off more as being sorrowful, full of regret and remorse and whatnot, which leads to my second theory: He's just all of the Doctor's regret, rage, sadness, guilt, remorse, etc. that the Doctor experienced fighting in the Time War and trapping Gallifrey (and his entire race) behind the Time Lock.

I've had a belief for a few years now that the Eighth Doctor survived the Time War, but regenerated because he couldn't mentally handle the horrors he witnessed, the things he did, and the way it ended. Maybe he wanted to try and start fresh with a new body and personality. Maybe it was more dire and he started having a complete mental breakdown and some part of him decided that his Eighth Incarnation didn't deserve to suffer any longer and so he regenerated as an act of mercy.

Of course, we won't find out until November 23rd when the 50th Anniversary special airs.

With you, May the fourth be.

Hmm?

Wookieepedia.

I'm gonna pop some Xenos, only got twenty rounds in my bolter

Soooo there's a rap song by a guy named Macklemore and his friend Ryan Lewis called "Thrift Shop". The song is an ode to well, thrift shops and how they're good places to get clothes and whatnot on the cheap, and encourages people to find their own style rather than following popular trends (such as blowing a load of cash on a t-shirt just because it's "limited edition" or "vintage"). I'm not a fan of rap in general - with the exception of nerdcore hip hop. Yes, that is a thing - and prefer rock music, but from time to time, one will pop up that's enjoyable.

(Fair warning, there's some adult language in the song, so you might not want to watch it while at work, school, or in the presence of children, bosses, co-workers, and priests)




In any case, I've found myself sometimes singing the chorus ("I'm going to pop some tags, only got twenty dollars in my pocket") and the other day on Tumblr, I came up with a version for the Space Marines from Warhammer 40k, which happens to be the title of this post. Someone else offered additional 40k-ish lyrics:

Drop into the field be like ohfuck that’s a big WAAAGH!,
So pumped to wreck some shit with a mag in my Boltgun,
Orks start to die, their brains all pulpy,
The Warboss be like “Damn that’s a cold ass Astartes!”

(via thunderwarehouse)

 This isn't even the weirdest scifi related thing I've done on Tumblr either. I think the same day I started a discussion on Data's balls. It started out as a joke, but actually turned into a real debate. Last night, I started another about whether or not zombies still have functional digestive system and that started out with me wondering if zombies pee and poop!

In case you're wondering, probably not. The best answer was that zombies simply eat until their stomachs burst. That in turn led to the larger issue of whether their organs still functioned. I don't think so, otherwise you could kill a zombie by shooting it in the chest and destroying its heart.

I honestly have no idea how I come up with that stuff.

I am now 30. These birthdays seem to be an annual thing and I have no idea how you turn that feature off.

Though, if you ask me, it's more a bug than a feature.

Thoughts for those injured and dead in Boston

<3

I have a bad feeling about this: SyFy's going to make miniseries out of Arthur C. Clarke's Childhood's End and Larry Niven's Ringworld

These two bombs are going to create a disturbance in the Force so massive, it would probably give the Jedi strokes. SyFy's done this before with Ursula K. Le Guin's Earthsea and well, it failed so horribly, that Le Guin has referred to it as "Frankenstein's Earthsea". I've never watched it (thank the Living Force), but one review paints a picture of a series that was processed into a sub-standard fantasy miniseries, which is par on course with all their other fantasy offerings.

While I've never read Childhood's End (a gross oversight on my part which will be remedied) or Ringworld (a deliberate choice because I have qualms about Niven himself), I'm cringing like a motherfrakker at what fate will befall them and what we'll actually see on TV. My guess, the aliens in the former won't look like demons, but humans in Nehru suits or generic "scifi" jumpsuits. Meanwhile, the aliens in the latter will be of the cheapest CGI possible. Who knows, SyFy might surprise us and break a $20 and splurge in that area.

A sad day for all: writer Iain M. Banks announces he has terminal cancer

From his website:

I am officially Very Poorly.

After a couple of surgical procedures, I am gradually recovering from jaundice caused by a blocked bile duct, but that - it turns out - is the least of my problems.

I first thought something might be wrong when I developed a sore back in late January, but put this down to the fact I'd started writing at the beginning of the month and so was crouched over a keyboard all day. When it hadn't gone away by mid-February, I went to my GP, who spotted that I had jaundice. Blood tests, an ultrasound scan and then a CT scan revealed the full extent of the grisly truth by the start of March.

I have cancer. It started in my gall bladder, has infected both lobes of my liver and probably also my pancreas and some lymph nodes, plus one tumour is massed around a group of major blood vessels in the same volume, effectively ruling out any chance of surgery to remove the tumours either in the short or long term.

The bottom line, now, I'm afraid, is that as a late stage gall bladder cancer patient, I'm expected to live for 'several months' and it’s extremely unlikely I'll live beyond a year. So it looks like my latest novel, The Quarry, will be my last.

As a result, I've withdrawn from all planned public engagements and I've asked my partner Adele if she will do me the honour of becoming my widow (sorry - but we find ghoulish humour helps). By the time this goes out we'll be married and on a short honeymoon. We intend to spend however much quality time I have left seeing friends and relations and visiting places that have meant a lot to us. Meanwhile my heroic publishers are doing all they can to bring the publication date of my new novel forward by as much as four months, to give me a better chance of being around when it hits the shelves.

There is a possibility that it might be worth undergoing a course of chemotherapy to extend the amount of time available. However that is still something we're balancing the pros and cons of, and anyway it is out of the question until my jaundice has further and significantly, reduced.
Lastly, I'd like to add that from my GP onwards, the professionalism of the medics involved - and the speed with which the resources of the NHS in Scotland have been deployed - has been exemplary, and the standard of care deeply impressive. We're all just sorry the outcome hasn't been more cheerful.

A website is being set up where friends, family and fans can leave messages for me and check on my progress. It should be up and running during this week and a link to it will be here on my official website as soon as it’s ready.

Iain Banks

I hate cancer.

I'll admit right now that I haven't read any of Banks books. I have three of his Culture novels - The Player of Games, Excession, and Matter - and always planned on reading them. I was attracted to them because of the way people on an internet forum years ago gabbed about them and when I finally looked them up, my mind was blown by this man's imagination. He made Star Trek, Star Wars, and the other bread and butter scifi universes look like stone age civilizations compared to what he writes.

I hate cancer because like too many people, I know what it's like to see a loved one stricken with the disease and to lose someone to it. My mother is a cancer survivor and my paternal grandmother died from it. I can't even begin to imagine what Iain M. Banks is going through, but he and nobody else should have to suffer from a disease that with all the medical science and wealth of an entire planet, should have been vanquished a long, long time ago.

Like I said, I have several of Banks Culture books, but have never read them. Until now. I'm setting aside all of my current reading and focusing solely on those. It obviously does nothing for Banks, but it's the best way I can think of to honor him.

Another trailer for Star Trek Into Darkness

I'm really hoping that this puts to rest the "Benedict Cumberbatch is playing Khan!" idea. I can't see someone like Khan as one of Starfleet's top secret agents. I still think that "John Harrison" is a red herring. You'll notice that in none of the trailers so far has Harrison been referred to by name. Then again, they said that Cumberbatch was playing a character from The Original Series and John Harrison was indeed the name the writers used for named extras. Maybe Harrison is a member of Section 31.

Of course, J.J. Abrams could just be blowing smoke up all of our asses and Star Trek Into Darkness could turn out to be a Rickroll on repeat for two and a half hours, for all we know.

Riker, the Enterprise, and why it took so long to leave

Back when Riker still had ambitions.
Credit: Memory Alpha.

I think the reason why Will Riker kept turning down promotion after promotion was because he wanted to be captain of the Enterprise, but what he didn't count on was Jean-Luc Picard sticking around for so long.

When he was first offered the post of First Officer on the Enterprise, he did some research on Picard and figured that he would be captain of the ship in no time. Keep in mind that Picard had already been captain for over twenty years (closer to thirty) at that point and Riker assumed that “well, he’ll probably hang around for a few years, then move on to the Admiralty and I’ll become the new captain!”, so he accepted the offer and bided his time, waiting for Picard to scoot.

Unfortunately, what he didn’t count on was that Picard had no interest in being an admiral and that even if he was, the loss of the Stargazer and the resulting court martial probably pushed him down to the bottom of the promotion list. I think getting command of the Enterprise was meant to be a consolation prize by some sympathetic Admirals who felt that Picard had gotten a raw deal.

He looked good with the four pips.
Credit: Memory Alpha.

Anyway, Riker waited and waited for Picard to move on, but he never did and as time passed, Riker grew complacent as Picard’s Number One. I think this is best illustrated after the events of Best of Both Worlds where Riker, who was field promoted to captain and given command of the Enterprise, gave both up and returned command to Picard. I’m sure that if he wanted it, he could have pushed the latter aside and kept both the promotion (which Starfleet would have surely made permanent) and command of the ship. But he didn’t because he respected and loved Picard too much to do that.

On the other hand, Riker’s decision was incredibly selfish. Starfleet lost thirty-nine ships during the Battle of Wolf 359. Thirty-nine ships and thirty-nine captains. I don’t imagine that it was a crippling blow to Starfleet, but it had to hurt in terms of the combined experience that was lost. I do imagine, however, that Starfleet did a round of mass promotions to replace the thirty-nine (forty, if they promoted a captain to replace Admiral Hanson, who died at 359). At that point, Riker should have conceded that he probably was never going get the Enterprise, sucked it up, and moved on as a captain for the good of Starfleet.

Clearly questioning his previous life choices.
Credit: Memory Alpha.

Riker really lost his original ambition while serving on the Enterprise because of his aforementioned complacency. According to two episodes of TNG, he had wanted to make captain by the time he was thirty-five years old. He was forty-four by the time it happened. Before that, he was offered command several times, but turned down each one.

Another book haul post

Because I've felt completely blocked when it comes to writing posts, even though I've got about four Trek related ones bouncing around in my head.

• Wing Commander - Fleet Action (William R. Forstchen), End Run (Christopher Stasheff and William R. Forstchen), and False Colors (William R. Forstchen and Andrew Keith*)
• Battletech - Test of Vengeance (Bryan Nystul) and The Price of Glory (William H. Keith, Jr.)
• Star Trek - Mindshadow (J.M. Dillard), The Peacekeepers (Gene DeWeese), Requiem (Michael Jan Friedman and Kevin Ryan), Worlds in Collision (Judith and Garfield Reeves-Stevens)
• Star Wars - Before the Storm (Michael P. Kube-McDowell)
• Heris Serrano by Elizabeth Moon
• And in case I didn't mention them, two Douglas Adams books - The Long, Dark Tea Time of the Soul and The Salmon of Doubt.

I've been buying more non-fiction (history and science books) and classic lit lately than scifi and fantasy.

*Funny this, the cover incorrectly credits William H. Keith, Andrew Keith's brother, but the title page gives credit to the latter. I wonder how they managed to confuse the two?