"Henry Cavill plays Warhammer 40k" is a sentence I never thought I'd write

It sounds like the fakest thing to ever be written in the English language, but shockingly, it's true! A couple of weeks ago, actor Henry Cavill  got the Internet all hot and bothered by posting a video on Instagram of his assembling a gaming PC. While the web swooned, I did some digging and came across something that raised my eyebrows about ten feet in the air:

View this post on Instagram

Considering we are, both, going through the Easter period, and going through The Lockdown, I figured it a good time to put a silver lining onto the cloud that is some of the darker moments during this time. So I've decided to polish some old skills and try my hand at some new ones! It is a time of rebirth after all. So, as you can see here, the obvious might look a little bit like a tiny helmet...which it is. One of my almost life long hobbies, that I've been following but not actively doing, is this. A company called Games Workshop...or plastic crack as "we" call it. Genuinely can't get enough of the lore they have built over the decades. They have been some of my most enthused reads! If you were in denial about me being a geek before, you can't hide from it now. Also, in the background of this photo, there may just be some completely new skills I'm working on.....or there may not be, so all of your eye squinting and attempts at digital unfocusing will be in vain....orrrr maybe they won't. I also wanted to take this opportunity to thank, from the bottom of my heart, all of the NHS (National Health Service, here in the UK) and healthcare workers worldwide, for your unceasing efforts to protect us. I imagine it might be feeling a little rough right now, but you Ladies and Gents are absolutely smashing it! Keep it up! You got this. "Hold on a second", I hear you utter....."if he has both hands in the photo...how is he taking the photo??" New skills, my friends....new skills. #Easter #Passover #GamesWorkshop #ProperGeek #Custodes #NewSkills #NHS #ThankYou #Raggy?

A post shared by Henry Cavill (@henrycavill) on Apr 12, 2020 at 1:34am PDT

He of Superman and Witcher fame not only plays WH40k (aka the sport of kings), but paints his own models. The fact that he plays Custodes and not Ultramarines probably won him some hearts all on its own.

But man, to find out that someone who looks like this plays Warhammer (including the Total War game six times through), nearly didn't get cast as Superman because he lost track of time playing World of Warcraft, and builds his own gaming PCs (or livestreams on Twitch!) is like finding out that the high school quarterback who drove a Mustang and dated the head cheerleader also played Magic: The Gathering in his free time.

This man has no right being this handsome. This is why I'm ugly AF.

But seriously, imagine Henry Cavill walking into your FLGS and asking if anybody was up for a game?

Some thoughts on that star galleon post

I was thinking about that post this morning and realized that there's a small flaw in the scenario for wargamers: the treasure. While the loot would be a good reward for treasure hunters in a role-playing scenario, it probably wouldn't be in wargaming. It would be a drop in the bucket for all but the most impoverished of star nations. Of course, there are simple fixes for this:

1. Hybridize it. Start out with a wargame with the players trying to secure the wreck so that they can send a boarding party over to begin exploring, which would be the RPG side of the game. This would either work as a solo game or you could have the losing players control whatever nasty things are inside the galleon.

2. Add another objective. This is pretty simple and I can't believe that I didn't think of it when I was writing that post. Tell all the players that the star galleon's has an intact datacore that contains the potential locations of other wrecked galleons and long lost storage depots. However, the datacore has to be physically collected and returned to your ship in order for the information to be retrieved. Any damage it takes while being removed and transported will cause loss of data and some of the locations of the other wrecks and depots. It's very old, so any excessive jostling or banging around will cause damage. In other words, whoever is carrying the thing has to move slower than they normally would.

Another thought I had is the type of ships that would battle it out in a wargame. I would bar any large ships like carriers, dreadnoughts, battleships, etc. because it just wouldn't make any sense to scramble the big guns for a single wreck. Instead, I would allow only smaller ships like destroyers and frigates. Maybe some cruisers, but only a very small number. Fighters would be okay, I suppose, unless they require a carrier, then no. The idea would be that each star nation would like to get their hands on the content of the star galleon, but they're not going to send in an entire battle fleet for it.

Inspiration: Wreck of the old star galleon

I saw an article the other day on NPR about the discovery of the wreck of a galleon from the legendary Spanish treasure fleet and my initial reaction was "wow, this would be good inspiration for a fantasy RPG" and indeed it would be. Buuuuuuut then I started to think about it tonight and realized that hey, this would work for scifi too. Here's the scenario I've come up with:

An ancient star galleon from a fallen space empire has been discovered in some remote reach of space. All that's known about the galleon is that it was once part of the aforementioned empire's treasure fleet, hauling fortune from its far-flung reaches and sometimes high technology. The contents and defenses of the galleon are unknown, but the potential for incredible riches and technology make its exploration well worth any dangers.

This could work for a wargame setting as well. In that situation, you'd have several star navies rushing ships to secure the galleon and its contents. Its worth noting that the technology in both scenarios are still very advanced even though the empire that created it has long since expired. Speaking of which, while that empire has gone the way of so many real world analogues, the star nation that spawned it still does, which adds another element to the scenarios: They themselves would love, love, love to get their hands on their former riches and technology in order to restore themselves to their former glory.

Thoughts?

Ever hear of a wargame called StarForce: Alpha Centuri?

This came across my dash on Tumblr this morning.

http://70sscifiart.tumblr.com/post/95288514209/starforce-alpha-centauri

I found the Wikipedia article for Simulation Publications, Inc. via Google. The company was founded in 1969, folded in 1982 with TSR acquiring its assets the following year. The company made all sorts of wargames and even tried to compete with TSR in the RPG market. StarForce was one of the companies first scifi-based games and here's what its Wikipedia article says:

StarForce described a future history of humanity reaching out into local interstellar space, and making first contact (and war) with a number of alien species. FTL (faster than light) travel was based on "telesthetic" (teleportation) powers enhanced by artificial intelligence, both from on-board crew members and with the assistance of fixed Star Gate installations. Space combat was relatively non-violent, mostly based on telepathic disruption of the enemy's crews. The space volume on the map represented real astronomical data, designed to allow players to become familiar with the layout of nearby stars.
----
Unlike most board games, StarForce used both pre-plotted simultaneous movement, and a 3D playspace covering a radius of approximately 20 light years from Sol. "Semi-hidden" movement allowed players to display their horizontal location while keeping their vertical position concealed.

 Another point of interest is that 80s new wave band, The Human League, took their name from one of the game's factions.

So anybody ever hear of StarForce? Anybody play it?

I really like this Rogue Trader picture

(via Lexicanum)

I dig the Age of Sail/pirate vibe with their outfits. The old fashioned (treasure?) map is a nice touch too.

Lasgun out of a Nerf Longstrike = awesome

Credit: Frost-Claw-Studios.

This beauty was made out of a Nerf Longstrike by Frost-Claw-Studios. Amazing. They apparently take commissions too, so imagine having one of these puppies hanging on a wall in your game room or man cave, or defending the Imperium against heretics and dirty, dirty Xenos!

h/t The Khan Rides to War.

Someone definitely has too much time on their hands: a chart of (almost) every starship in science fiction

Found on Kotaku, created by a chap named Dirk Loechel on DeviantArt, this sucker is immense!

Holy Hannah! Like the title of this post says, it has almost every starship, but I think Loechel is adding new ones in the future.

I'm gonna pop some Xenos, only got twenty rounds in my bolter

Soooo there's a rap song by a guy named Macklemore and his friend Ryan Lewis called "Thrift Shop". The song is an ode to well, thrift shops and how they're good places to get clothes and whatnot on the cheap, and encourages people to find their own style rather than following popular trends (such as blowing a load of cash on a t-shirt just because it's "limited edition" or "vintage"). I'm not a fan of rap in general - with the exception of nerdcore hip hop. Yes, that is a thing - and prefer rock music, but from time to time, one will pop up that's enjoyable.

(Fair warning, there's some adult language in the song, so you might not want to watch it while at work, school, or in the presence of children, bosses, co-workers, and priests)




In any case, I've found myself sometimes singing the chorus ("I'm going to pop some tags, only got twenty dollars in my pocket") and the other day on Tumblr, I came up with a version for the Space Marines from Warhammer 40k, which happens to be the title of this post. Someone else offered additional 40k-ish lyrics:

Drop into the field be like ohfuck that’s a big WAAAGH!,
So pumped to wreck some shit with a mag in my Boltgun,
Orks start to die, their brains all pulpy,
The Warboss be like “Damn that’s a cold ass Astartes!”

(via thunderwarehouse)

 This isn't even the weirdest scifi related thing I've done on Tumblr either. I think the same day I started a discussion on Data's balls. It started out as a joke, but actually turned into a real debate. Last night, I started another about whether or not zombies still have functional digestive system and that started out with me wondering if zombies pee and poop!

In case you're wondering, probably not. The best answer was that zombies simply eat until their stomachs burst. That in turn led to the larger issue of whether their organs still functioned. I don't think so, otherwise you could kill a zombie by shooting it in the chest and destroying its heart.

I honestly have no idea how I come up with that stuff.

Hit them with my sword!

via Dr Poxo.

 And he's probably score a critical hit with it too.

An idea for space-based wargaming: the suicide run

First Galaxei Ibrahim Maxwell gritted his teeth as the series of explosions rocked the Elysium and strained his body against the restraints of his command chair. Only his space suit saved his skin from bruises. Not that it mattered as the overhead lights flickered and the chatter from the various stations around the bridge increased as each called out status and damage reports.

"Port and starboard laser batteries down! Missile batteries Ten through Fifteen also down." Reported the assistant tactical officer, his superior having blown her voice out an hour earlier. "We've lost shields on starboard, port is about to follow, and forward shields are down forty percent."

"Engineering reports substantial casualties to damage control crews. The last explosion opened a whole deck to space." The voice of the lieutenant's working the engineering/damage control station was cracking, but from a different type of strain. "They also report severe breaching of the hull."

Then came another explosion, this one dwarfing the three prior. This time, the strain was too much and one of the restrains snapped. The lights went out this time and were replaced by dimmer emergency ones. The chatter reached a new height of frantic.

The next voice was of his XO, Second Galaxei Arianna Grey. "Ib, we've got to get out of here while we still have ship to withdraw in."

Maxwell said nothing and stared at his tactical overlays on the array of monitors around his chair. The damage assessments were worse than what he was hearing. The hull was swiss cheese and the frame was red lined in places. Worse, the FTL propulsion was history, making retreat futile. On the other hand, he had alternatives...

"No." He replied.

"What, sir?"

"No, we are not retreating. It would be pointless, Ari." He said, gesturing at the displays. "Even if the FTL still worked, the Elysium would never survive in its condition. And I doubt our "friends" out there are in the prisoner taking business."

Grey nodded, never taking her eyes off the displays. The Anvar were ill-disposed to take on prisoners and even less to treating them anywhere approaching galactic standards. This war was turning shitty.

"We do have an alternative, however." There was a grim resolution in First Galaxei's eyes as his XO tore her eyes from the screens and locked them with his. And she knew.

"That battlecruiser is awfully close and the enemy seems to have made an terrible tactical error putting those destroyers so close to it." She said with a savage grin.

"Agreed. Now let's show them the error of their ways and remove a battlecruiser from future equations." Maxwell responded with a grin just as menacing. Turning away, he started calling out orders, his voice amplified by the command and control system to carry over the noise of the bridge.

"Flight control, lay in a direct course for that BC, don't skimp on the speed! Tactical, redirect power from aft to forward shields. Throw every ounce of offensive power we have at the enemy ship! Ladies and gentlemen, we are going to make sure that NO ONE, especially those Anvar bastards forget the Elysium!"

The idea popped into my head tonight: What if instead of watching one of your ships being blown to smithereens with no consequences for the enemy ships, a player could get a measure of revenge by dealing one final blow? The idea is that if a ship survives an attack, but is otherwise doomed, you can attempt to have the ship perform a suicide attack. The player could only target an enemy ship that is close to it (let's say one of two hex squares), then has to roll a dice to initiate the attempt. If the roll fails, suffers some kind of engine or nav trouble. If successful, however, the ship then automatically starts moving towards the targeted ship at its current best speed. It also loses all future turns, since its not likely to survive. The opposing player automatically gets a free turn to either evade or try and destroy the kamikaze vessel.

If evasion is successful, the stricken ship continues moving on its present course for several hex squares before coming to a stop. If the opposing player fails to evade or destroy the oncoming ship, it plows right into theirs in most cases, both go boom. For the sake of fairness and balance, the suicide run option can only be used once per ship and only if the ship has suffered more than 50% damage. Maybe 60% to be safe. Additionally, if a ship fails in its run, maybe it has to do a morale check or something?

Thoughts? Suggestions? I'm thinking of calling this the "Today is a Good Day to Die!" Rule, and the player who uses it has to say that line in their best Worf voice. Eh? Eh?

Here's the first episode of On The Table

On The Table is that show on YouTube that I posted about two weeks ago that covers wargaming, RPGs, and other tabletop gaming. The premiere episode went up on Geek & Sundry's channel the other day and I finally got around to watching it.



It's okay, but I wasn't particularly blown away by it. I was hoping for some actual discussion or coverage of the subject matter, not just a guy reporting gaming news. Then again, it's the first episode (of the fifth season, since the show just changed hosts to G&S), so it'll probably get better. They should add a co-host to split the reporting so that it isn't just fourteen minutes of one guy.

So, thoughts? Is On The Table worth watching?

A new internet show about wargaming, you say? Jolly good!

This should be quite a treat for any wargamers who read Rayguns, Geek and Sundry announced the other day that they'll be debuting a new series on their YouTube channel all about miniature wargaming. The series is called On The Table and interestingly, is replacing Wil Wheaton's TableTop series, which itself is about tabletop gaming and is going on hiatus until January. That last bit scared me a little when I first read it, since TableTop is so damn good. Anyway, On The Table will be hosted by Warren Johnston from Beast of War, a wargaming website.

The first episode is set to premiere on November 15 on the Geek and Sundry YouTube Channel. I think it's interesting and really shows how popular wargaming is growing. If you look at the rest of G&S's lineup, OTT seems like an odd bird. You have Sword & Laser (based on the podcast of the same name), The Flog (creator Felicia Day's vlog/show), the aforementioned TableTop, The Guild (which is worth watching), and a couple of other shows are all fairly lighthearted. Having a show about Warhammer, Flames of War, Warmachine, historical wargaming, and more is a very nice change of pace and hopefully, it'll be a success.

If you do watch it, remember to click the like button, because that's apparently how they gauge how well the shows are doing.

So, what do you think? Is your interest peaked enough to check it out?

Things that exist: Family Circus does Warhammer 40k

This actually happened.

ArcaMax.

What's next? A Dagwood strip about Infinity: The Game?

h/t Topless Robot.

I dig Vulcan starships

Because they're just so cool looking! Check out the D'Kyr type, a combat cruiser, for example.

Memory Alpha.

Lovely ship. One of my favorite things about Star Trek: Enterprise were the Vulcan's navy. Their cruisers were decidedly unique and original. The most unique feature, of course, is the ring. Believe it or not, that is their warp engine, because screw nacelles! It's more than a shame that this feature was never adapted by Starfleet after the Federation's formation. There's another configuration, as seen in the Suurok-class, a combat cruiser and science vessel combo.

Anyone ever hear of this game? Orion: Combat Near the Speed of Light?

Click to embiggen.

I heard about this game while reading an article on Atomic Rockets and it looks interesting. Here's BoardGameGeek's description:

This is a game of combat between ram ships moving at near light speed in the Great Nebula of Orion. Each player commands a fleet or ram ships armed with missiles, X-ray lasers, etc. The primary tenet of the game is Einstein's theory of special relativity and how it affects movement and communications. The game includes 7 scenarios which may last from 1.5 to 8 hours. Also included are advanced rules and notes from the designer on the game mechanics, concept, and how these relate to physics.

Of escape pods and wargaming

Not the escape pod you're looking for (via Wookieepedia).

Recently* over at the excellent Super Galactic Dreadnought, Desert Scribe made a post about escape pods he made using swanky beads his wife gave to him. Even before I got a quarter of the way through the post, ideas were already flitting around my head, about prospective uses for escape pods in space-based wargaming. What if when ships are destroyed, their respective players have to roll to see whether or not any crew escaped. Maybe there could even be an option to have the crew abandon ship if the vessel is damaged badly enough. If the roll succeeds, the player then rolls to see how many pods make it on the board.

Then things get interesting. The pods are stationary and can be retrieved by either side. If the player rescues them, they gain points for each pod. Its the same if their opponent captures them. On the other hand, the enemy has the additional option of simply destroying the escape pods for points, although there should be some kind of roll involved to balance it out, otherwise, they’ll just blow the pods away every time. If a player does decide to snatch up the pods, the ship they send has its movement drop to the slowest speed, if not stopping altogether. If their ship has shields, they have to drop them and their field of fire is restricted due to escape pods floating around.

Another idea is that if you do rescue escape pods from one of your own ships, any crew lost on the rescuing ship can be replenished.

So, thoughts?

*Okay, so it’s been like two weeks since the post went up. I’m lazy, sue me.

Eli Arndt's The Galactic Trade Authority is an interesting concept

I saw this post over on Eli Arndt's most excellent I See Lead People blog and it really piqued my interest. The idea behind The Galactic Trade Authority is simple: An organization that provides protection for trade ships and depots for a price. Initially created by an alien race called the Nawleen to secure their own interests, the GTA soon extended its services to other alien races and eventually was officially endorsed by the galactic government to act as a pan-galactic agency. While the Arndt created the GTA for wargaming, its a concept that can easily be employed in worldbuilding.

Scenario: Piracy is rife in the galaxy and the major powers/galactic government is either unwilling or incapable of handling it adequetly. A group of corporations or trading guilds decide to take action and form a body to protect their convoys and trade centers. The organization soon grows in reputation as more and more companies enlist their services until the government(s) promotes it to that of a government entity. You could even have it where the agency becomes corrupt overtime due to political patronage or just straight up bribery.

Starfleet Wars/Galactic Knights

So when I first discovered wargaming blogs, the one game I kept seeing over and over again was Starfleet Wars.

Now that's what I call a space battle

I saw this after action report on the most excellent Super Galactic Dreadnought, a blog about space-based roleplaying gaming. In this case, it was a battle involving a game called Starfleet Wars, now called Galactic Knights. Desert Scribe writes a pretty good report and it's worth reading. I'll let him set up the scenario:

...Three separate forces--an Avarian transport convoy, an Avarian military task force, and the Terran super galactic dreadnought--all crossed paths in the same sector of space...